Blog

Valentine’s Day approaches, named in honor of the glorious St. Valentine who declared that blow jobs are not premarital sex. This year, why not get your little dipper something special. Send her a postcard.
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If you take a B-12 vitamin before bed, the next moring you will be able to see your future in your pee. Mine prophesied that I would meet a beautiful stranger that loved Mountain Dew.
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Lately, I’m really into short stories. Please email me your favorite one, if you have one. Mine is “Red” by W.S. Maugham.
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I’m thinking about teaching another workshop that would basically be Computers for Dummies. I taught one a few years ago that was Internet for Dummies. Dummies are willing to pay alot.
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SOTD: Do you say “like” too much?

I really wanted to put up something extraordinary today, something inspiring. A picture of the skyline or light playing on the Hudson. Something with lucid color, sparkling with morning, amidst winter’s grays. Maybe a poem, a sonnet. 14 lines about how you should take your pants off that would make you want to. But, then, I got pissed off at my landlord and took this photo. I thought it ruined my chances at creating a mellifluous piece of inspiration, but then I remembered, like Christina Aguilera, no, more like Clem Snide, I am beautiful. No matter what they say.
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Oh, back to the landlord. Here is the open letter:

Fuck you.

Sean
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SOTD: What I’m looking for. Well, at least one of the things.

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Editor’s note: After today’s post went up, a few folks wrote in to say it was a bit of a buzz kill. So here is a cheerful picture and something funny and wry–best headline today: Was Dr. Atkins fat or just bloated? At last people will stop using the word “carbs” with disdain while I eat pizzas (plural intentional).

Also, the reason I’m upset with my landlord is that they are trying to raise my rent $500. That’s actually a blessing, because I needed a kick in the pants to get out of that place.

Under the vaulted arches of the 59th Street Bridge sits Guastavino’s Bar, an enormous posh lounge. Jerry was in town, so the two brothers did a minor pub crawl ending up beneath the bridge at the secret home of the hot women. Everyone else in the bar was a low level midtown suit, swilling Scotch to try and impress his boss, so Jer and I looked good by comparison.

I went back this morning and it was all mysteriously gone–just an empty lot with discarded newspapers blowing in the rain.
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SOTD: From Walker, who you should vote for.

Along with old flop houses and new condos, restaurant supply stores line the wide Bowery. Everyday, I walk past this gigantic professional Italian expresso maker. It looks like if you plugged it in, the beast would come alive like a Tim Burton creation or R2D2. I need to inquire how much it costs because I would love to burden a relative with ownership of this contraption by giving it as a wedding present.
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SOTD: Give up being productive today, here is Britney’s sister’s blog.

Barramundi, on Ludlow Street in the heart of the Lower Upper Eastside, has a quiet backroom with eclectic decorations and a working fireplace. A great spot to hide away and warm up on a cold Groundhog Day.
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After Janet Jackson’s boob made a “unplanned” appearance at the Super Bowl, the world was suddenly divided into two camps: those with Tivo and those without.
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SOTD: You must register by 2/6 to vote in the NY primary.

In today’s picture, I am flanked by two happy Patriots fans and the last men standing at the bar. To watch the game we chose Reservior–big tables won out over better wings.

A ton of folks showed up, including Mary, Colleen, Patrick, Collin, Erik, Ben, Tyler, Lauren, Kevin, Bhaven, Bhaven’s sister, Andrew, Walker, Trice, Brad, and the crazy NYU girls.

The lovely waitress gave us free beads, hats and football helmets.

In the end, folks looked on with shock and awe at Vinitari’s game winning boot, and then Pat’s fans celebrated.
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SOTD: Happy Groundhog’s Day. Phil says six more weeks.

An old flame of mine from during grad school named Sarah recently emailed me to get back in touch. This photo was attached. She says she’s eager to talk to me for some reason.
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Yesterday’s Picture of the Day, while very gross, resulted in more emails about the site since “Kittens“. I regret nothing.
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I want to thank my sister-to-be Kelly for introducing me to the Movie Title Game. They way you play is while watching a movie, the first time a character has a line that contains the actual title of the movie, you yell, “Movie title!” Then you’ve won. It’s more fun than you think.
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Speaking of movies, check out the Australian picture “Flirting“, released in 1990. Women will enjoy the touching romantic comedy and men will enjoy touching themselves over a young Nicole Kidman and her other private school girlfriends.

I want to get this stuff before I’m 30 and then considered a dirty old man.
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SOTD: Greatest online game ever?

Possibly the grossest Pic of the Day ever, a shot of my tongue scraper. One night at a party at Tyler's, while washing my hands I noticed some sort of odd red handled device on Erica's shelf. I asked Tyler what it was and learned about the existence of tongue scrapers.

Exactly as the name states, tongue scrapers are designed to scrape all the gunk off your tongue after brushing. Last Sunday, I went on an oral hygiene shopping spree, buying whitening gel, mouthwash, new floss, and a tongue scraper.

Now when I leave the house, my breath is as fresh as a Breathsaver factory, but then I immediately have a cup of coffee and cigarette. The first time I used the scraper, the amount of nasty stuff on my tongue amazed me, so I thought I'd take a picture and amaze all of you.

I have no secrets.

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SOTD: From Rachelle, 10 Mistakes Writer Make. Sometimes I make all 10 in just one sentence.

I’ve been thinking about buying an aparment for a while, so on Sunday when I saw an open house on Craigslist that was right across the street from me, I had to go. The pictures show the apartment as the actual size. The current owner had an enormous cat and both it and I couldn’t fit in the kitchen at the same time.
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Last night, I had a fine time in an empty bar with Jess at No Malice, formerly Delia’s. I think Monday’s should be the new Tuesday (formerly Thursday).
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SOTD: XXXVIII facts about the Super Bowl. Where should we watch it? 4th Street? Resevoir? One and One? I want to watch it with Collin, because he has a vested intrest.

Erik and Kerstin had a house-warming-slash-free-ham party on Saturday, so all the folks headed out to Park Slope. I was too busy drinking V8 Vodka Smoothies and stuffing my face to take many pics. Here’s just a few:
– Justin sampled the four different types of mustard.
– Apparantly, all stylish programmers are wearing sweaters and collared shirts.
– A determined girl will not be kept from her wine.
– Long time reader, first time smoocher, Sarah Reidell visited from Boston.

I love ham. Love it.
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SOTD: A word game where you are the petulant Danish pprince.