Blog

Things I would rant about if I had the time:

– New Yorkers considering seceding.

– Female teachers who sleep with students.

– The similarities between marriage and the flu.

– Women

– Who wants to marry insert noun here?

– Harmonicas

…
Congratulations to Mary for being the first to answer yesterday’s riddle.
…
I’m going out for drinks after work tonight. You should too.
…
Site of the Day: A better boyfriend than me.

Someone ripped the alarm of the door, so I now have roof access at my apartment building. My friend and neighbor Molly took advantage of the killer view of the Empire State and Chrysler buildings and had a rager on Saturday night. Justin showed up early and kindly snapped these shots of Erik and me. It was hell of a good bash with all the Edge kids in rare form and an iPod hooked up to an 80’s boom box.
…
RIDDLE OF THE WEEK:

As always, using Google is cheating.
…
Site of the Day: Just weird, bald stars.

Comments after coffee. Some will involve dinner with Susan.
…
Site of the Day: The next prestident of the United States, John Kerry. He gets the link because he dropped the URL during his speech. We can do better. Help is on the way.

Last night I had the good or poor fortune to spend a few hours over beers and wings talking politics with the hodge-podge that is my writing group. The table numbered three demorocrats, one republican, and one moderate (me). I’ve always said that in a room full of sheep herders, I’ll transform into a cattle man. I loathe consensus. This has not gotten me very many free drinks.

At the wise age I’ve reached, I’ll say this about talking politics with anyone but your spouse, barber, or taxi driver; don’t. But, God help me, I love it so. There’s just not enough love in beer to promote an understanding. For harmony, you need tequila. If you aren’t prepared to step up to the cactus juice, then you should change the subject to sex. Everyone likes sex.
…
Kudos to JibJab for the pic and making a film more viewed than Fahrenheit 9/11. My friends on both sides think it is more anti the other candidate. Suck crosses all political boundries.
….
Site of the Day: Magic is an Illusion.

This picture looks contrived with a punchline in mind, but it wasn’t. Matt and I were doing what we do–drink beer and watch TV–and Molly stopped by to see Bill Clinton’s speech at the Democratic convention. Sorry, Kerry, but I think Bill locked up the nomination.
…
I’ve said on the site before that I could never marry a vegetarian. I’ve add Atkins afficianados to the list. The future Mrs. C just needs to eat and not talk about it.
…
Site of the Day: This man is weird and unexplainable. Actually, so is this one (watch the cat for the most unintentional comedy).

After a very chill (but pleasant) weekend, I just have laundry list of a few brief thoughts:

– After losing my cable, I have cut way down on TV. I still get the major networks and somehow I have stumbled upon the most embarrassing pleasure on ABC on Sunday nights: The Days. The show is trite and over-nice, but the mom-daughter duo of Marguerite MacIntyre and Laura Ramsey are possibly the hottest things on televison. Don’t hate me because I’m slimy.

– Anytime I see a commercial for the Natural Bra I, well…need to be alone for a little while. It’s when they demonstrate the cleavage clip, “taking you from sleek and sporty to curvy and voluptious in seconds!” that puts me over the edge. Ouch. Tricia is not such a fan, ” I prefer to call that bra the chicken cutlet bra.”

– Ricky Williams is cool and sometimes I wish I had the guts (actually the money) to quit my job and wander the earth righting wrongs. And apparantly smoking the herb.

– Soccer is better in the Spanish. I watched the end of Copa America on TV Mundial and timed the announcer on his last “GOAAAAAAL!” No exaggeration: 1 minute, 8 seconds. Amazing.
…
Editor’s Note: Several women friends have already chastised me about the “overly guy” nature of today’s post, so no one else should feel the need to.
…
Site of the Day: From Jess, I don’t particularly care for the Yankees. I really don’t.

Scooter. Today's pic has nothing to do with what I'm writing about. Kristen sent me this portrait of her dog and I just thought it was cute.
…
My life has always been a series of obsessions, starting when I was a little kid. Jets, ducks, turtles, and comic books, all kept my undivided attention at one point in my youth. My latest obsessions have included this website, MP3s, and protein shakes. Some compulsions have been unreasonable and short-lived, like when I decided I wanted to be president. Others, like writing and taking pictures, transformed from overwhelming time consumers to sustainable parts of my everyday life. Unfortunately, when in the midst of a new hobby frenzy, I can never tell if it is sane, like my interest in running during my lunch break, or mad, like my plan to weld fighting robots in my 4 by 8 studio.
My latest scheme/goal is to invest in some property upstate for a weekend fishing retreat. It seems like a good idea even though I have no car or wife and I'm addicted to the weekend bar scene of the East Village. I'm breaking down the pros and cons of purchasing a cottage here for my own personal reference.
Pros:
– I love to fish and owning a cottage would enable me to do it more often.
– I could probably afford a cheap car that I kept parked near the end of the metro north. This would make it easier to get home and make it be less than three hours to get to the cottage. I could leave work at 5 on Friday and be having a beer on the patio by 9.
– I have lots of friends who would love to get out of the city if it were free. Also friends/brothers who love to fish.
– If the cottage is in the Catskills, we could also stay there during snowboarding season.
– I can't afford a place in the city, and this might be a good investment for the savings I currently have.
– I could host Thanksgiving some years.
– Huge tax break.
Cons:
– I am not married, which means I have no one I can force to go up there with me. On the other hand, I very much like to get away from folks once in awhile.
– If I buy a place with electricity and all the amenities, that also includes substantial maintenance costs that are a loss on the investment.
– I may never go up there.
– I could buy a "summer" type place that has electricity and hot and cold water, but is designed to be shut up for the winter. This would eliminate snowboarding.
– Shoveling the driveway, mowing the lawn, painting, gutters, changing furnace filters, light bulbs, hedges, washing windows, getting fuel oil, plus a million other little headaches that home ownership involves.
So I'm researching my prospects. Here are some places I'm considering:
– A small cottage near a lake
– A new, private cabin with no grass
– A large piece of property with just a shack that I could build on later
Any advice is welcome.
…
Site of the Day: The craze that is sweeping the city, dodgeball leagues.

While I was missing my writing workshop for an obligatory company meet and greet at Flow, the rest of the kids were kickin’ it with Diedre and Mike at Brother Jimmy’s on the Upper East Side. Brother Jimmy’s is THE hangout for people who really love college and are still possibly attending. Decorate entirely in Southern Conference school penents and bamboo, it does it’s best to make everynight Spring Break in Daytona. The wings are good, but avoid the wine list.
…
[TK Something]
…
Site of the Day: From many sources, the Kerry-Bush video.

I’ve dated a few b*****s since I started this site, but I’ve never used it a vehicle for passive aggressiveness. But today I am. On Monday night, I cleaned until one in the morning. I scrubbed the shower, sink, and toilet and then hand-washed the floor on my knees. I swept under the couch and breakfast bar. Dusted all the furniture. Polished the silver.

I did all this because my brother Jerry was in town on business. Last night, when Jer and I got home from dinner, the air conditioner was cranked. The bench and the table were cleared off, waiting for his stuff. A table was set up for his laptop with a high-speed connection. An outlet was reserved for his cell phone. Clean sheets and towels were neatly stacked on the couch.

Did Jerry stay at my place? Did we have coffee together in the morning? Did he make the most of a rare visit, maybe the last before his baby is born? No. He went to a divey Best-Western in the grimiest sectionof the meat-packing district. What the fuck is up with that?

He is banned from POTD for a period no shorter than six months.
…
Site of the Day: From Lindsay, Google circa 1960.

Actually, even in the 80’s everything was still like that. At least in Altoona. Speaking of Altoona, my hometown, why do people always make it the punchline of their jokes (look down the page)? Even George Burns poked fun, titling his autobiography The Still Love Me in Altoona. I’m from place famous for sounding comedic. Maybe I should marry a girl from Albuquerque.

I’m not standing for it any more. Adam Gopnik better watch his back. George Burns, too.

I don’t clean my apartment very often, but Jerry is in town, so I redd up the place, especially my geek station. IBM Thinkpad, iPod, external DVD writer, wireless router, inkjet printer, and a USB Hub. I’m sitting there now.
…
Hey, it can’t be Ireland or Siren everyday.
…
Site of the Day: Best game since Catchball.