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Tippy the Turtle brings you links today. A prize to the first person to email what else Tippy is going to do. This pic is a place holder. The real picture is on my laptop at home. It is also boring.

– Bored? Read the best web comics.

– A thawing frog (from Mary).

– I don’t really like Christmas music, so I really hate the worst Christmas albums ever.

– Maybe we should organize a Secret Santa thing for our NYC friends. Even the Jews.

– When I was a kid, we’d play with Lego for hours and because we were boys, we’d turn those harmless blocks into handguns.

– I need to finalize my New Year’s plans.

– From TMN, learn something about Giant Steps. And then explain it to me, Bill.

My ears are still ringing. I’m suffering from numerous waves of high school flashbacks. My calves are in knots. I could mostly only see a forest of bald spots bobbing in front of me and three bald heads on stage. Kim had on the same periwinkle sweater that I gave to my mother last Christmas. The band stayed on stage between the last song and the encore and just waved at the cheering crowd. All that aside, the songs were loud and perfect and the Pixies just may be the greatest rock group of all time.

– “Pixies dust off their legend” – NY Daily News
– “Once Upon a Time, There Was This Really Loud Band” – New York Times

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Site of the Day: Register on the national Do Not Call List before it’s too late. Actually, it’s never too late.

Have you ever seen the movie called They Live directed by John Carpenter and starring Rowdy Roddy Piper? It doesn’t have the highest of production values, but parts of it are pure genius. Rowdy is an average guy who finds some special sunglasses. When he puts them on, he can see the true messages behind advertisements in bold black letters. Billboards and magazines suddenly read, “OBEY,” “CONSUME,” or “MARRY AND REPRODUCE.” All of this is controlled by aliens. I’m not sure why I am bringing this up right now. Anyways, on to my Christmas list.

It’s really hard to buy for people, so I’m posting my Christmas list. I’m hoping that my loved ones will do the same so that I get them something they need and want, rather than stuff I hope they will give back to me. Like the time I bought my mom Zelda III for the Nintendo 64.

Here’s the Amazon Wish List. The HDTV is too much, but there is always a chance. A gift certificate to Banana Republic would be handy for some work clothes too. CONSUME! OBEY!

Seriously though, I would be happy receiving a cup of coffee. Maybe some toast. I really don’t like the mass consumerism. But if you do, stick with dark blue. It brings out my eyes.

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Site of the Day:

Team Voltron, thought to be retired or dead, made an unexpected appearance at Pete’s Candy Store trivia night. Solidly in first place after round one, the boys slipped to third place (the fabled free sandwich position) by missing questions like “How much did the Post report Donald Trump paid for a diamond ring for his girlfriend?”, “How many bic lighters are sold every day?”, and being unable to identify Fiona Apple’s voice.

Click here to see the gang’s reaction to the loss as they wave to Brad for missing the event.

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Site of the Day: The next Beatles or Nirvana, Kriminalz!

Last night at 10:30 I decided to organize the wires behind my computer desk. By 1 I had mounted two surge protectors and a USB hub to a board I screwed on to the back legs. That sentence, while being very innocent, contained the words “mounted”, “screwed”, and “legs” and it will definitely boost my late night traffic. Sometimes I wish I could do all my writing from 10 at night until 1 or 2 AM. I need a third trick white collar job.

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Here is the train of thought I had on the subway this morning: Above me, beside an American Express ad with a girl I once went out with, was an ad for Jon Stewart’s America. The book cover reads “With forward by Thomas Jefferson.” I assume that is the Declaration of Independence and also very funny in the context they are using it. I would ask for the book for Christmas, but as my friend Albert says, the shelf life for political satire is about four days. It’s not funny after he wins.

America reminded me of a conservative message board I stumbled upon yesterday where the people were foaming at the mouth over a Robert Smigel cartoon on this week’s Saturday Night Live. Among the rants were calls to write the FCC (I’d love a “Fuck the FCC” shirt for Bushmas) and a repeated “What do you expect from New York/TV/Hollywood?” My mind recalled Woody Allen’s great line from Annie Hall, “Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we’re left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

I thought about some people back home who sometimes have a misconception of what my life is like in Gotham. Although last night I was in my slippers watching The Swan, they might picture me as the swarthy mustached man in the background waiting for Jenny as she goes over the edge in Forest Gump. Did the director really need to go that seedy? Of course, Jenny started out with a rough home, although she was a cute kid. A messed up childhood can lead you to loading the syringe for some Ron Jeremy-looking pimp.

Speaking of kids with messed up lives, Haley Joel Osment was in the movie. They are working him harder than Col. Tom drove Elvis. Sooner or later, once the cuteness wears off, that boy is going to snap. I wonder what he will be when he grows up:

Haley Joel Osment’s Five Most Likely Next Careers

• Crack Salesman
• Crack Whore
• Emcee in Branson, MO
• Computer Programmer
• President

Then, the subway doors opened up and spit me onto Vandam Street before I could get anymore. I needed coffee.

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Site of the Day: Go ahead and click Baby Jesus. He likes it.

This weekend the lovely Susan invited me to her annual Christmas party where we celebrated the birth of JC by demonstrating our appreciation of his knack for turning water into wine. We turn wine into pee and hangovers. We also had a blood sacrifice of a very large bird. Once again, I received the honor of carving the turkey. Emily, Lauren, Holly, Ildi, a ghostly Ben and many other friends brought their own merry cheer. Thanks to Lauren for the pics. And thanks to these lovelies for having the shindig.
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Site of the Day: William Shatner’s Rocket Man Video

I’m still in the industrial park that is Kendall Square in Boston. While the area lacks any real flavor, I did have a great meal at Legal Seafood last night. It was so good that it should be IL-legal ! HAHAHAHA! I’m also staying at the interesting Kendall Hotel (see pic), which was built in an old firehouuse.

Thanks to my friend and coworker Allen who took the shot and taught me how to reduce the brightness on the blue channel in Adobe Photoshop. This makes pictures in natural light feel warmer. Even in the rain.
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Will our children know or care who Ken Jennings was? I hope so.
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Site of the Day: From Jen, get tickets now for Karate Kid – The Musical

Jobless Mike made the show and sent me the above shot.

The pics below are from a guy I met when I went down to the street. After the band chatted with the crowd, they got into a bus. Twenty minutes later, they came out. Bono kissed a baby like a politician and the band walked through the folks very chill. There were like two hundred people milling about–not really a crowd at all. They got back on the truck and played a song right below our windows. It was like they stopped for our office, specially.

Hells yeah.

Directions to show.

Lauren needs a new roommate because Colleen has moved to Florida. That apartment is one of the places I go to watch cable, so I insist the new roomate be hot, scamper around in just boxers and a night shirt, and really like the Discovery channel.
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It’s Shimmy Shimmy Ya all day here at STC.com. RIP ODB.
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Site of the Day: I couldn’t pick just one:
– Beavers Make Damn out of Stolen Money
– NYC invaded by gigantic asses. (Not the GOP, this is literal).

• boughten – I'm still not sure if this is a word.
• lay/lie – I lie down on the job, but I would lay down my weapons if confronted by a swat team. If I did these things yesterday or would have done them or would have been doing them or will do them…the tenses confuse me.
• catenate – As Erik informed me after seeing this on my site, the word should be concatenate. The Unix short-cut for the concatenate utility is "cat", which has caused many a foreign, or in my case Midwestern, programmer to develop this error. Editor's Note: Since posting this, Matt was nice enough to inform me that catenate IS a word. Erik can GFY.
• youns, yous, y'all – I've used each of these. Something in us cries out for a plural "you." All other languages have it. You all know what I mean.
• row – This is a word, but for years I pronounced it as "roe" when referring to a fight (it should rhyme with "cow"). Eventually, a girlfriend pointed this out rather smugly one day. Then we had a row. I won, because in Altoona, nobody has rows, we only have fights.
• ain't – For some sentences, it just sounds better. Normally, when followed by "fuckin'." As in, "Get your own beer. I ain't your fuckin' caretaker!"

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Today's POTD shows that coat of choice in my office is the 3/4 length black wool.

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Site of the Day: Although some of his musical elitism annoys even me, in response to "Fuck the South," Neil Pollack does a good job of taking to task folks like me who were guilty of elitism in post-election frustration.