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Today’s pic is an AP photo of the new world’s largest roller coaster at Six Flags in Jersey and it represent one of the many things I didn’t do this weekend. I did grill/drink for a wonderful day at Mary’s and Aarons Annual Memorial Day BBQ. No one, including me, even took a cell phone picture. We suck.
The rest of the weekend was chilling and errands to prepare for an upcoming trip to Florida. I don’t mind taking it easy before a vaction.

My Netflix queue likes the BBC and it brought me Coupling, a very good show if you like breast jokes and hot chicks. And I do.

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I know, I know. You all would have preferred a shot and some commentary on the hottest chick in Canada, the Universe.

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Sites of the Day:
– During summer, I love to travel, but mostly I love the city when it is empty.

– From TMN, I find these profoundly sad, photos of a family that probably owned a liquor store.

– If you have a lot of time and bandwidth, watch this film of a computer generated Lego Batman, starring Adam West, Mark Hammell, and Courtney Thorne-Smith.

Todd and coworker Mark are in Finance and they had Business. Then they had Steaks and met me for Beers.
It was a nice night, but I’m hoping the Capital Letters can make it momentous.

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Does anyone in NYC have a cordless drill and some large metal-boring bits? I may have locked my keys into my apartment, but I would never admit it.

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Site of the Day: At last, Pete & Pete is on DVD! From Mike.

Last week I saw Star Wars at the Ziegfeld at the pinnacle of the movie-going experience. I was in one of the largest, most plush theaters in the country, often the home of world premiers. A thousand enthusiastic, rapt fans surrounded me, many with light sabers, contributing to the communal buzz. In New York, that is as good as it gets. Normally it is much worse.

After remembering to MovieFone your tickets at least a few hours in advance, arriving at least 30 minutes early, you get to shell out $12 to watch a half an hour of commercials, and then watch the movie, often with unsolicited commentary from the local flavor. At home I have 6.1 surround sound, my own private bathroom, snacks, drinks, and the ? of the couch that Ildi is not sprawled on.

I get unlimited movies from Netflix, or if I was less lazy, I could download (steal) them using BitTorrent. I can drink beer. Eventually, I will get a digital projector and turn my apartment into a personal screening room. Did I mention the beer and the private bathroom? Will Netflix, cheap home sound systems, and digital projectors end the movies, as in a place you go to?

I still like the feel of the big screen when the lights drop and the crowd hushes, the music of the production company intro rumbles, and my hand heads south, but there are a few more things the theaters could do to keep my business:

– Beer

– Bouncers who rudely deal with hecklers and cell phones

– Assigned seats, no La-Z-Boys. With personal coolers and massage vibrations.

– Preview go-go girls

– Whiskey, which is not the same as beer

– The two old guys from the Muppets

Some people ask why. I ask why not.

My Tiki god

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Sites of the Day: From the A’s, Kristen sends a college kid burning his face and Matt sends the lion and the little people, wonderfulk although it is fake.

It’s not easy to make an Epic, but Lucas did his best to wrap up Star Wars suitable to the hype, years, and money dedicated to the series. While the exploding space ships of Episode III surpass the rest, the acting is atrocious, and the key ingredient from the original, Fun, is gone.
The creation of a villain requires a charismatic scene-stealer, not a mannequin. The only entertainment comes from the moments that connect to us back to the original: Chewbacca, Princess Leah’s ship, the suns of Tattoine. We applauded only for the escape to who we were years ago.

Erik and I enjoyed some cask beers in the garden (more on Spring weather below) at D.B.A. last night. On the way in I saw this sign that said, “Always free WI FI.” That can’t be healthy. I used to joke when I lived above The Edge, that with my wireless router I could work from the bar. That was a joke. There are two types of people who work in bars: bartenders and alcoholics.
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As Mark Twain said, “Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it.” I don’t want to do anything about it either, but I do want to do the opposite of complain. This Spring deserves to be commemorated as being the nicest ever. I used to say that New York at two weeks of decent weather a year, one in May and one in October. The rest are either pavement meltingly hot or freezing rain shitty. But not this year. It’s been a month of perfectly clear and 65, the ideal temperature for Sean T. Conrads.

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Site of the Day:

When I was just a lad at Juniata Gap Elementary, a boy named Aaron and I alternately hogged a library book called The Third Planet from Altair, the only Choose Your Own Adventure type on the shelves. The interweb has taught me that the odds of success in the book were a bleak 6 to 38, which may explain my cynical attitude. Aaron, who loved the book more than I did, tragically ended up even worse.
I moved on to the new CYOA paperback series with #1, The Cave of Time, which was the best in the series, although I also had a fondness for UFO 54-40. The reader had to cheat to reach the three page utopia ending because no other pages referenced it. That taught me to be underhanded. Ah, the way we were.

If you’d like to read a depressing CYOA online, become a McDonald’s cook.

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Site of the Day: Anthony Lane bitch-slaps George Lucas to bed.

While affluent people all over are buying gigantic flat plasma HDTVs for the ultimate home theater experience, the rest of us have to seek other options. Many have discovered the amazing digital projector, which can play a DVD across an entire wall. These projectors are still expensive, with the decent ones costing over a thousand, but they can often be borrowed from the office or purchased on Ebay, which is what Mark and his son Pip did to create the Decker Movie Night.
Standing in front of a humongous projection of Sexy Beast are Jen, Pip, a shadowy Tori, Victor Hugo II, Mark, Andrea, and me. Movie night was a great success, although I uncharacteristically had a bit too much wine. The image on the wall was crystal clear and so large that I had to turn my head to see when two people were talking on screen.

Also, five thumbs up for Sexy Beast. Ben Kingsley deserved an Oscar. Although, the English subtitles may be necessary for the first viewing if you don’t speak fluent London.

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Site of the Day: Dave Chappelle is not smoking crack or in a mental institution.

I’m a product manager for a company that makes downloadable software available on the Internet. I’m supposed to be business savvy about how the whole thing works, so it is very ironic that last night I was scammed out of $35 online.
SoulSeek is a piece of software that supports a peer-to-peer network for the purpose of trading MP3 music files. It’s one of the applications out there that has the RIAA and the music biz up in arms, but that is another story.

I opened SoulSeek up on my laptop last night to borrow some new song and received a message saying that my program was out of day and that I needed to upgrade. I actually haven’t stolen any music in months, so I figured that made sense. Digging in my memory, I tried to find the page where you download the latest version. I typed in “http://www.slsk.org”. I won’t link to it here, because I don’t want to increase its search traffic. What I found at that site was literal fraud.

Completely branded like the original SoulSeek (which is at http://www.slsknet.org for those of you who want a peer-to-peer, free of spyware or adware), this other site charges for a monthly membership. I was so pleased with SoulSeek before, and so brand loyal to their lack of bundling crapware, that I was happy to pay.

After I forked over what I thought was $18 for a twelve month membership, I was navigated to a page to download Limewire, a file program that runs on another peer-to-peer network. I knew immediately that I had been had. It all took three minutes.

I’m currently trying to track down the people behind the scam so that I can demonstrate due diligence to my credit card cpmpany to get them to reverse the charges. My bank told me that $32 dollars had been charged to my card and gave me a 1-800 number that connects to I-Pay.com, an online money collection service. I called the number only to speak to a woman in India who told me the computer was down, so no orders could be cancelled at this time.

The domain “slsk.org” is registered to someone named Harald Adlassnig at Day Networks, whom I’m currently trying to track down. The FTC is now very interested in online fraud (I’ve been to two conferences about it in the past week) and are pointing a careful eye at even legitimate companies. This Day Networks would be a no brainer, except for the fact that I think they are in another country. The code is “AT” and I have no idea what place that is.

Feeling dumb is the worst. I think wars could be started over it. Or I should say, have been.

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Site of the Day: Ms. Huffington’s collection of famous bloggers are just as boring as me!

Unfortunately, in this world, if you want decent healthcare, you have to very proactive and read all the HMO literature twice. No one is going to show up to you desk and take your blood pressure or clean your teeth. And as for getting quality care, shopping around is a second full time job.
This is why I have been without contacts for a year. I went to two different doctors and neither was able to fit me with a pair that accurately corrected my vision. Luckily, this weekend I mentioned my troubles to John Z, who happens to be an optometrist. “Gimmee, ten minutes,” he said, “and I’ll fix you right up.”

John strives to provide excellent “patient care,” as opposed to customer service. It’s always weird to see a friend in a professional environment, putting on their game face, as it were. John had noticed my left eye drifting the night before (which it does when I am drunk or tired, check the archives), and also diagnosed a mild astigmatism. In nine minutes, I was seeing the world clearer than I had in a long time through a new pair of contacts. Thanks, Johnny Z!

Today’s pic is my tree, which I love, sharply lit by the morning sun.

Site of the Day: Yo-yos

When Johnny Z (middle) and his friends seek a night of debauchery, they take matters into their own hands. To celebrate my brother Dan’s (right), plus two other friend’s, bachelor parties, John and company chartered a bus from Pittsburgh to scenic Buffalo.
The trip is not part of any package from any travel company. The friends designed it themselves and became their own tour guides for a night of hedonism away from the wives. Why Buffalo? Two reasons, first the Senaca Niagra Casino. Second, the Sundowners gentleman’s club across the river inside of Canada, where the laws guiding adult entertainment our not so strict.

John’s friends are a close-knit group going back to their days at Hamilton High School in the north hills of Pittsburgh, all with permanent nicknames like Worm, Slem, Sleepy, Stick, and Wishbone. The rest of the crowd are associates gatherered at IUP and around Pittsburgh, most former football linebackers waying more than one block of Bedford.

For the meager price of $100, all the grooms-to-be and the rowdy already-marrieds got a ride on luxury bus and one night at the Holiday Inn across from the casino. The group quickly subdvided with different factions favoring one of the three available vices–alcohol, women, and gambling–more than the others. Dan, John, myself, and Matt, who flew into Buffalo just to meet us, stuck mostly to the blackjack table to the relief of the various wives and girfriends. Others in the group ventured out, but you’d have to buy me a beer to get those stories.

Despite very little sleep, even for the bus driver who had a real fondness for lap dances, the gang started for home at 8AM Sunday morning, on Mother’s Day. Half-way home, five of the bravest, myself included, figured that decadence must be total, and eschewed the tame fair at Wendy’s for the more adventurous Long John Silvers.

The smell of cheap perfume, stale casino cigarettes, battered fried fish does not come off with just one shower. You need at least three and a shave.

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Site of the Day: Check out these really cool, but really small apartments.