So the Democrats took over the House in a major way and could still possibly take over the Senate. I’m cautiously optimistic that this could lead to a better world. However, knowing the Democratic party, like the Steelers this season, they can be incredibly inventive in screwing things up. So here’s some tips from me, now that they have some power:
5 Things To Do Now That The Democrats Have The House:
1.) Initiate an orderly withdraw from Iraq
2.) Pursue a successful conclusion to Afghanistan
3.) Rollback Bush’s enormous corporate tax cuts
4.) Actually speak to the rest of the world
5.) Legalize dope but outlaw reality TV. They cancel each other out in contribution to the dimming of the country. I’m looking at you Carter family.
I am aware that having control of the House does not make all these thing possible, but I can dream can’t I?
5 Things To NOT Do Now That The Democrats Have The House:
1.) Let Kerry ever speak again on national TV. He lost. He’s done.
2.) Engage in discussions about gay marriage, stem cells, or flag burning. Just reply, “I’m sorry, Tim. I’m too concerned with the war and the economy to focus on such things.” Tattoo that on your forearms.
3.) Nominate Hillary Clinton. Some parties are cool enough to get a very polarizing candidate elected. Your party is not one of them.
4.) Confuse “West Wing” with you. Martin Sheen is good looking and charismatic. That’s why he is in Hollywood. You are not good looking, but good at fund-raising. That’s why you are in DC. Do not think you can do what Martin Sheen does on a fictional show.
5.) Patronize. The working class, farmer, and African American vote rightly belongs to the Democrats. Don’t get complicated. Henry Ford (as conservative as Hitler) once said that the only way to get a decent days work out of the American worker was to beat it out of them. Remind the people that the only way to get a decent days wage out of a corporate board is to beat it out of them.
Alright, no more political ranting. I promise.
…
Notice, in today’s pic, you can’t even tell the difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn. More on that tomorrow.
…
Site of the Day: McSweenys’s had a good 2006 Election Guide. I totally voted yes on prop. 19.
Bonus Links: Watch Ben Stein’s dream speech for Bush from a week ago on CBS Sunday Morning and then watch the real Bush speech.
So the Democrats took over the House in a major way and could still possibly take over the Senate. I’m cautiously optimistic that this could lead to a better world. However, knowing the Democratic party, like the Steelers this season, they can be incredibly inventive in screwing things up. So here’s some tips from me, now that they have some power:
5 Things To Do Now That The Democrats Have The House:
1.) Initiate an orderly withdraw from Iraq
2.) Pursue a successful conclusion to Afghanistan
3.) Rollback Bush’s enormous corporate tax cuts
4.) Actually speak to the rest of the world
5.) Legalize dope but outlaw reality TV. They cancel each other out in contribution to the dimming of the country. I’m looking at you Carter family.
I am aware that having control of the House does not make all these thing possible, but I can dream can’t I?
5 Things To NOT Do Now That The Democrats Have The House:
1.) Let Kerry ever speak again on national TV. He lost. He’s done.
2.) Engage in discussions about gay marriage, stem cells, or flag burning. Just reply, “I’m sorry, Tim. I’m too concerned with the war and the economy to focus on such things.” Tattoo that on your forearms.
3.) Nominate Hillary Clinton. Some parties are cool enough to get a very polarizing candidate elected. Your party is not one of them.
4.) Confuse “West Wing” with you. Martin Sheen is good looking and charismatic. That’s why he is in Hollywood. You are not good looking, but good at fund-raising. That’s why you are in DC. Do not think you can do what Martin Sheen does on a fictional show.
5.) Patronize. The working class, farmer, and African American vote rightly belongs to the Democrats. Don’t get complicated. Henry Ford (as conservative as Hitler) once said that the only way to get a decent days work out of the American worker was to beat it out of them. Remind the people that the only way to get a decent days wage out of a corporate board is to beat it out of them.
Alright, no more political ranting. I promise.
…
Notice, in today’s pic, you can’t even tell the difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn. More on that tomorrow.
…
Site of the Day: McSweenys’s had a good 2006 Election Guide. I totally voted yes on prop. 19.
Bonus Links: Watch Ben Stein’s dream speech for Bush from a week ago on CBS Sunday Morning and then watch the real Bush speech.