Author: Sean

I participated in a charity golf outing this weekend for my friend Dave. We had a good group, but were definitely in the losers' bracket. I had never played anything other than some par 3 and miniput, so it was all new to me. After completing my first round of 18, I think I can sum up golf as "a good walk spoiled." However, beer and an electric car can definitely unspoil. That quote is from Mark Twain, which is Internet confirmed (as in not) here.

That page also has some other fun facts:

"Mark Twain was his User ID, Samuel Clemens [was] the name."

"The Golf responded to this harsh but truthful criticism with the invention of the golfing-car. A golfing-car is a little car you can follow your ball around in."

Brilliant. See you at the driving range.

I just left Cody's in Brooklyn where I watched the 1PM games on 14 TVs with a ton of other NYC transplants. Like most games in a New York bar, fans for every team showed up and there was a huge Steelers contingent. Steelers nation travels, or more correctly, most kids who grew up in Western PA now live somewhere else and emigration guilt brings out some unusually fervent home team support. So every bar has a ton of Black & Gold.

This day was unusual, or maybe sadly common, because the end of the game was marred by some young Steelers' fans almost getting into a fight with a Giants' fan over "cheering without class." I was wearing a Steelers' jersey, but I actually was kind of hoping the Giants fan would pop the kids in the head.

The disagreement started because the Giants fan, a decent sized New York looking Italian guy with forearms that revealed a working class job or lots of lifting, defended his girlfriend. She supported the Steelers' opponent Buffalo and received some very negative cheering from the young Pittsburgh fans.

The Steeler's guys finally drew fighting words from the Giants' fan and disdain by the rest of the bar by just being assholes. When the Steelers were up by three scores, they celebrated Buffalo injuries, were a little over excited for every Buffalo mistake, and even thew in some below the belt, "How's it feel to lose four Super Bowls?" I love the Steelers, but felt this was uncalled for. No other Steelers' fan in the bar, nor I would have said too much if the Giants' fan had pummeled the much smaller Steelers' kids.

NYC is a melting pot. If you love the NFL, but can't get the Direct Ticket, you end up watching your game beside fans of all 32 teams. For the most part, there is a camaraderie and respect for fellow fans. I've seen Patriots' fans pick up the tab for Colts' fans out of respect of the game and an appreciation of Karma. However, like today, altercations do happen. To prevent those, I'd like to offer some rules for fans in a mixed forum bar, like those in NYC and other major cities:

– Don't fight – There is not a single player, coach, or associate of any NFL organization that would ever get in a fight for you. It is an arbitrary contest of a ball economically divvied up between television markets first, cities second. It is my life for half a year, but the day I raise fists for it I know I am an asshole.

– Don't cheer injuries – There is Karma in this world. It's not a testament to your team, but the fickle finger of fate when a guy goes down. Just don't cheer it.

– Cheer positive – First downs. Runs for 6. Touchdowns. Decent returns. Forcing a 3 and out. You can cheer all these things without rubbing salt in the opposing team's unforced errors. The Giants' fans already feel bad enough when Eli throws it to the first row on a 4th quarter play. No need to gloat because some very good fans are strapped with some very inconsistent players.

– Don't respond to announcer hype – Yes every announcer in the world loves Peyton Manning, Chad Johnson, and Troy Polamalu. Yes these players are good, but they are not the second Jesus. Don't punish the person in the seat next to you because the media must create stories.

– Don't point – You are not on the team. The rival fan in the bar is not on the other team. Pointing at an opposing fan in a bar just says you like fighting more than watching football. See point 1.

– At least have some perspective in your subconscious – Watching football is a hobby, so you are allowed to escape a bit, but before you throw down, let a little bit of perspective bubble up from your subconscious. Last week Buffalo Bill, Kevin Everett lost the ability to walk forever. On Thursday, Frank Gore lost his mom. Everyday Iraq soldier parent lose something even more. It's okay to put this out of your mind while you watch, but maybe it should come up before you toss a plate of wing bones into a total stranger.

– Tip well – The waitress from Staten Island or Pentagon City couldn't care less about the Vikings-Packers "thing". Tip well. Really well.

I love watching the game in my home town, but there is a unique thrill to sharing the excitement with fans from all over the country in a major city sports bars. Don't eff it up by being an asshole and you might make a ton of friends. After all, you don't want to be compared to Iggles fans.

Hope to see you next Sunday.

One slight addendum: Watching the Pats play the Chargers tonight…forget my nice post. I just hate the Pats. They are smug AND they cheat. I'd like to see Tom Brady's bastard factory body tackled into Belechick's too cool for sleeves smug face. End of rant.

Another update from Matt, NFL Films on Steeler Nation. Choked me up.

The lights of the memorial show how amazing the towers used to look from Promenade. Best wishes.

This weekend Ben and I embarked on the First and Last Annual Labor Day Weekend Pub and Bridge Crawl. Without going into to too many details, I will say that is was a bad idea. We met those two nice ladies, but also met a few buckets of beers. Here's the stats that I can publish:

– Bars: 7

– German food? Yes.

The rest is lost to Summer. I'm showing discretion and not revealing too much, other than the fact that the next day I cuddled with a Gatorade like we grew up together.

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Speaking of summer, good riddance! I hate tourist season, sweating, shorts, and baseball. Hello cool nights, football, and the lovely colors of autumn.

Somehow I got sucked into a weight loss contest at the office with a bunch of coworkers. It’s not fair because, frankly, I am already beautiful. Still, I hate to lose, so on the way home I bought a bunch of my old bachelor diet food. This is what I used to eat before I lived with a woman. Some items are:
– Salami
– White bread
– 2% milk cheddar cheese
– Baked Ruffles
– Reduced fat Triscuits
– Grapes
– Pickles
– Yogurt
– Knorr’s Rice Sides
– Soup

The thing that makes them diet is that most items are low fat or such. More importantly, just eating at home as opposed to a restaurant eliminates a lot of calories from the day. The thing that makes these items bachelor is that no matter what combination you grab, the max time to a plate of food (and back to the game, video or football) is seven minutes.

I let you know how my weight loss goes. I expect to only put on two or three.

It's that time of year again to get ready for some football. As the world knows, I follow the Pittsburgh Steelers, (not Steely McWeird). Because of the eccentricities in the high power dealings between Time Warner of New York, the NFL, the NFL Network, and the New York Jets and Giants, it can be very confusing to tell if your team will be on TV.

Like many New Yorkers, I can't get the Direct TV NFL package because I live in a rental. On most weekends to see my team I must head out to the sports bar. Yes my life is rough. But in all seriousness it is tough on the wallet and liver to do that for 17 consecutive weeks. So I created the chart above to nail down some dates when I can watch the game at home. You all are invited over for every game in Steeler Gold, as those will definitely be on my TV. For the others, I'll be at various spots around the city, doing the puzzle during pre-game, sipping a Diet Coke or a Miller Lite. Please join me.

PS I have an elaborate spreadsheet that cross pollinates this data with the Redskins schedule and also shows PSU and Tech on Saturdays (and sometimes Thursdays). It's quite pretty.

So after yesterday's trip to the emergency room, I ended up with four staples in my head. Medical staples are the exact size and color of industrial consruction staples. When they are put in, it feels exactly like you would imagine. I was going to post the gross picture full size up top to ruin your Monday, but the wtb talked me out of it. She almost passed out capturing this fuzzy shot for you sickos. Click at your own risk.

The emergency room is one giant story creator (thus ER, Chicago Hope, Grey's Anatomy, etc.) I got yelled at by a doctor for talking too loudly with a new friend, a policeman who was handcuffed to a woman prisoner who was receiving treatment while I made small talk with my really cool doctor who promised to sew me up again anytime. It's a damn shame you have to wound yourself to meet such characters.

After getting the staples, the wtb, Ben, Holly and I all had a really comforting Italian linner (or dunch) at Savoia on Smith. I played Zelda on the Wii all night. Today we had a great brunch with Danelle and Michael and then went shopping. Then, Bern and Nelson invited us out to Jersery for the best crabcakes I've ever had.

I have four staples in my head, but it was still an awesome weekend.

dropped the dental floss. bent to get it. mirror cabinet was open. stood.bang. now in emergency room.

interestingly, you can walk across brooklyn holding a bloody gauze to you head and no one says hello.

When you lack blogfodder, lists can always help. A while back I posted a list of must-do activities for summer. So far I'm doing pretty good. I only need to do "See a baseball game" and "Ride a roller coaster". Maybe the weekend after this we can do one or both. I'll keep you posted.

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I have three plus To Do lists. There's work, blog, and joint wtb chores. Hovering in the ether are my life ambitions, but they change hourly (rented Rescue Me first season, and yes I want to fight fires).
The work and blog lists are dull, but I'll share the wtb chore list:

1. Fill one dining room wall with book shelves
2. Get a new bed.
3. Buy a window fan.
4. Plan a wedding.

Currently the potential joy of hanging shelves has prevented any nuptial arranging. Fan shopping is also more appealing to us. It's immediate payoff.

Just kidding, mom, dad, miltb, filtb! We are making calls and sending checks. We hope to be legal by 2010.

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Today is the eve of our fantasy football draft. I am giddy with anticipation. Yes, Virginia, I am ready for some football.

As part of my lucky streak of falling in shit and coming up with a diamond, Kerstin and Kate received horrible service during a sailing lesson. The diamond is that the manager offered them a sunset cruise with some friends as atonement. It became part of my streak when they invited me (I'm sure it was to get the wtb along, not me.) Wine and cheese were also provided. Snacks turn a lucky find into an uber-lucky find. Add wine and women and I just don't know what to do.

The boat in the big picture is the Braveheart, former yacht of Mel Gibson. You know, sometimes I wish I was an anti-semitic, ultra-Christian, drunken filmmaker. If it paid in yachts, I'd definitely deal with the social stigma. I'd have my yacht to keep me warm.