Author: Sean

My vacuum cleaner finally died, so the mlw and I took some gift cards from Mom and Dad (Thanks, parents!) and bought a Dyson D17.

My review? It's an excellent vacuum. It has a lot in common with Apple in Bose products: It's heavily marketed, very expensive, but also very good. You can get the same spec's for less, but the Dyson has the cool form factor and ergonomics, like an Apple or Bose, that make the jacked up price worth it to some.

I haven't watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" in probably ten years, but caught it last night. I forgot what a masterpiece it is. Along with fantastic animation (look at the stars at the end), the famous Vince Garibaldi jazz soundtrack, there are some priceless moments penned by Charles Shultz.

"Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Browniest."
You know of all the Sean T. Conrads in the world, I am the Sean T. Conradest.

"I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday to emphasize it?"

"Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?"

"Pigpen, you are the only person I know who can raise cloud of dust in a snowstorm."

"It's too early. I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait for January."
"They look ripe to me."
Wow, Lucy was a hipster.

(On Christmas) "Instead of feeling happy…I just feel let down."

"What is it you want?" "Real estate."

(On cash for Christmas) "All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share."

(Responding to good jazz) Bobs head to left…bobs head to right. Repeats.

"I'll give you five good reasons."

"Don't think it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization."

(Gazing into a mirror, expected by another to be horrified) "On the contrary, I didn't think I looked that good."

"How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?"

In succession, "Boy are you stupid, Charlie Brown." "I told you he'd goof it up." "He's not the kind you can count on to do anything." " You're hopeles You've been dumb before, charlie Brown, but this time you really did it." Today's TV coddles children compared to 1965.

And finally, "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!"

…

I also love The Grinch.

Last night beneath crane lights, workmen began erecting this gigantic tent below where Pineapple meets the Promenade. Curious, I wrote my friends over at the Brooklyn Heights Blog and they did some sleuthing.

According to the Brooklyn Eagle, via the BHB, it's for a sect of Hasidic Jews celebrating the arrival of European Jews at the and of WWII.

I snapped this shot of Hasidic Jews overseeing the project, when I was still trying to solve the mystery:

It looks like it's going to be a huge party. The tent is easily the size of a city block. Rock on, my Hasidic neighbors.

I made a gargantuan pot of meatballs last night to for MNFand the Steelers. So far the Black and Gold are doing all that the can to lose to the 0 and 10 Dolphins. The field is one giant puddle and unless you are from the Burgh or south Florida, this one must be a sleeper.

I'm getting ready to cook the family turkey, a job I took over from my mother one year when she cut herself and both my brothers had dates in the house. I do a simple brine, butter rub, and roast at 325 until the thermometer reads 170. I also prefer a simple stuffing with the French "merepoix," 1/4 carrots, 1/4 celery, 1/2 onions and pan deglaze. For my reference and yours, here's 5 turkey recipes/links.

1. http://www.butterball.com – Includes video, their 1-800 number, and a regional guide to recipes. Butterball freezes their burds in saltwater so that they don't need to be brined. This, with their comprehenisive website and David Letterman tie-ins allows them to own Thanksgiving.
2. Roast Turkey with Port Wine Gravy from Epicurious.com – Bon Appetite's website Epicurious.com consistently delivers some fine recipes.
3. ALOT Recipe Toolbar – Provides daily recipes and fast access to search for recipes, along with tons of cooking links.
4. Cook's Illustrated Easy Roast Turkey – Unfortunately, you need a login to get this recipe. Luckily Dan has one and emailed it to me. It's a good one.
5. Aha Jokes How to Cook A Turkey – So stupid it made me laugh.

Some things I learned over the years that I need to remind myself:

1. Use two thermometers
2. Tent the breast with foil to keep them from overcooking, but be sure and spray the foil first with Pam no-stick spray.
3. Drink and deglaze with red wine. More of the former.
4. Do not stuff. It's just easier.
5. Polishing the turkey's "tan" with a propane torch is not worth the effort.
6. Cut one breast and serve. The meat tastes better, including when leftover, if it is fresh cut.

I'll keep you posted with the status of our bird.

The blogging as been very light this week because I have been swamped at the office. Everyday I drink three cups of coffee out of this mug. I've worked here nine years and there has never been a Diane in the place. I don't know who Diane is our how this Williamsburg Diane mug came to be. I only know that I love it.

…

Things to Do:

• Post wedding pictures
• Caption the honeymoon shots
• Post the wedding mix tape

…

So while I was in Sicily, the head of the mafia was arrested. In his hideout, they found this list of ruled for mafia members:

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
2. Never look at the wives of friends.
3. Never be seen with cops.
4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.
5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty – even if your wife's about to give birth.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
7. Wives must be treated with respect.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

They forgot #11, "Killing? Oh that's fine." Among others, I certainly fail #4.

Two days ago I was being served breakfast on the veranda while overlooking the Mediterranean while on my honeymoon with my lovely wife (mlw). Today I am at work.

I hate you, world.

Italy/Sicily Honeymoon

So I got married on Friday and had a party to celebrate on Saturday. Both events were excellent. Saturday night especially was perfect. The biggest question that I have been asked since is what will I now call the wtb (wife-to-be). I'm not exactly sure. I avoid her name for her privacy, so I need an abbreviation. Here are some options:

• w – Can't really do this because of G. W. B.
• fwtb – Former wife-to-be. Not bad, but sort of sounds like we broke the engagement rather than saying "I do."
• tas – Trouble and strife, from Cockney rhyming slang. Not very flattering.

After some thought, I think I will settle on "the wife," (similar to THE Ohio State, for you football fans). It's simple, not disrespectful, and clear.

So anyways, the wife and I would like to thank everyone who attended our party and helped to make the best night of our lives. We love you all.

The Brooklyn Office of Marriages is the exact multi-cultural, melting pot that you would expect. It's also a rather happy place. In New York, no blood test is needed, but the license is not valid for 24 hours so you can "cool off."

Leering and howling, these werewolves just announced some new show from atop a double decker just now outside my office on Varick. A nice lady also gave me free plastic werewolf teeth. Cool.