Ladies and gentleman, presenting your 2008 Altoona Trout! This is the team assembled to defend the World Championship of the League of Extraordinary Drunks.
Starters:
- QB – Matt "Burgher" Schaub
- RB – Joseph "The Tool" Addai
- RB – Frank "Blood" Gore
- WR – Calvin "Bad Boy"Johnson
- WR – Jericho "Thunder Crotch" Cotchery
- WR – Brandon "Unforgettable" Marshall
- TE – Kellen "The Warrier [sic]" Winslow
- K – Mason "Bing" Crosby
- Def – TBD
Reserves:
- QB – Vince "The Promise" Young
- RB – Edgerrin "Big Papa" James
- RB – Maurice "The Piece" Jones-Drew
- WR – Reggie "Uptown" Brown
- WR – Ted "Rat-a-tat" Ginn Jr.
- TE – Owen "Waivers Bound" Daniels
So, clearly a champion team. You may wonder why I don't have a defense. It's because I am a really good (CHAMPIONSHIP) coach and I know you can always get a decent D or kicker on waivers.
Schaub?!?! You might also mutter. Have no fear. The Pittsburgh native will hurl the Trout once again to the playoffs. Last year I beat Tom Brady in the final with Kurt Warner. After all, it's not called Reality Football.
Go Trout!